Good Guys Finish Last?

I stepped out of myself one day, and fell down to my knees
Casting teary eyes upward, I began by saying "Please..."
Help me to understand, that as I look into my past
I can't help but wonder, why do Good Guys Finish Last?

I have done my best, to be the best, man that I can be
But for some odd reason over time, those I care about still leave.
I've been cheated on, lied to, and even made fun of
But still, I kept on giving my all...a heart filled with love.

When I think back to those I cared for, and left me for others just the same
Is it because I was different; did I not play the game?
Many variations of this question, to this day still last
And on my knees I ask again, why do Good Guys Finish Last?

I've been in situations, where I thought that things were good
Only to find the one I loved, was kicking it with the "hood".
All this time I was genuine, and quite sincere...it's true
But in the end I was left with hurt, and despair too.

But it's not just around relationships, it's also been with friends
The ones I thought I could depend on, who'd be there to the end.
Go out of way to be there for them, I did this - what I speak is truth
But it hurts just the same when in the end, I was just a doormat for their boots.

Yet still I try to maintain, and keep my head held high
'Cause in my heart is a pain, the reason for my teary eye.
To not care at all is easy, but I can not accept that task
For I am a good guy so please tell me, why do Good Guys Finish Last?

I lowered my head in shame, thinking that my plea had gone unheard
And on my knees I sat in silence, my heart and mind perturbed.
Moments passed and longer still, I kneeled in quiet vain
And then a gentle voice spoke unto me, and said "Let me explain."

The experiences you have had to bear, the lessons you have learned
Were placed in your life strategically, to prepare you for your turn.
You have had "trial runs" in the past, to parallel what you've been told
That just because something glitters, certainly does not make it gold.

All of those that claimed to be your friends, that turned out not to be so true
Have given you insight to what a true friend is, thus making a better you.
And through it all you stayed the course, you were the one to endure
A definite quality of a Good Guy, one whose friendship is pure.

And as for your relationships, and those for whom you cared
Let not you further worry of this, for unconditionally your love is to be shared.
It is their lost...those who left, and from past hurts you now see
That a true partner would give you her all, just as you'd give your all to she.

So young man do not waist your time, dwelling on the past
For truly I say unto you, Good Guys don't finish last.
They are groomed so when the right one comes, it will appear as though it's fate
And the two will grow together as one, love and blessings will overflow their plate.

I thought over the words carefully, for they did make sense
And set my mind more at ease, but I still was somewhat tense.
And I asked who is the one for me, searching for years I've tried and tried
Heaven opened up, smiled gently on me and said, "UAintNevaLied".

Not to be Taken Lightly

Throughout the day I had moments where my mind would drift...pondering over different ideas of what to blog on. To be quite honest, I actually logged in a couple of times and began typing my introductory paragraph, but I could never quite finish my overall thought as to what I really wanted to say. I had a few topics, but even those began to escape me or would fall by the waist-side as that internal voice within me would ask "Do you really want to write about that?" So after starting and stopping for about 4 times, I decided that I'd step outside and put my mind on to other matters of creativeness - addressing my failed attempts to write to a later point. It was at that moment that I actually began, unknowingly, formulating what it was I wanted to put here.

This past week has - for the most part - been a good week with the exception of the passing of one of my cousins. She put up a battle against cancer and was finally called "home" this past Tuesday. This lead me to think about another member of my family who had a battle with cancer and won. Somewhere after that I got to thinking about other issues that I've witnessed, heard about, read about or saw...and then it hit me.

I realized that I had a lot to be thankful for - that there are a lot of positive things surrounding me that need not be taken for granted nor ignored. And I sat there, taking a minute or four and absorbing this epiphany. Mind you, I wasn't just thinking this in regards to me, but in regards to people...us...in general. I realized that I've never had to battle cancer, shield myself from a barrage of bullets, wear casts to repair broken bones, lay in the hospital from car wrecks, or go through life not knowing what it is to be loved. I thought of these things...and I became more thankful. I noticed that I was actually having my work day from the comfort of my home and for the first time in a long time, working with the view of my yard right outside where a sense of peace was awaiting me once I was through with my work. It was something to look forward to, but at the same time, the mere fact that "that" something to look forward to existed was a blessing within it self.

Back in school I would get up in the morning, open my blinds and see the day before me. It was always a good day when you could open those blinds, see the sun illuminating the room, the clouds were way up, and a shallow breeze completed the day. What I hated was that I normally had class during those days...class in a building where there wasn't much of the day getting in. I came up with a theory, and that theory was simply this: God gave us an abundance of those perfect days (perfect, of course, being defined differently by different individuals). These days are plentiful in number, but there is a certain allotment in our lifetime. And although we have many of these days designed for us, we are limited to partake in them because of school, work, responsibilities, etc. So on various occasions I opted to take my days and not leave them for granted. I know I skipped a couple of classes (okay, more like an entire day) so that I could get out in it, but something in me felt as though I would be wrong to let it go without stepping outside. I would get in my car and just ride around...no particular destination...no set goal in mind. I would just ride...windows down, music playing and a smile on my face. I knew that I should have gone to class, but somewhere inside I figured God wouldn't be upset for me taking advantage of something He made just for me. In fact, I felt He was happy that I'd made the choice I made!

So what am I really trying to say? I guess I'm saying a lot: pay attention to those little things around you because they're bigger than they appear, take advantage of things when you can, because before you know it they'll be gone, live for the day as best you can (but still try to plan ahead for the future), because tomorrow isn't definitely promised. I'm saying a lot of things but they all ultimately tie back to the same idea (well, at least they do in my head). You're the reader here...the meaning will be interpreted differently for your eye than mine. As it should...

...I dunno, man.

To Glorify or Not to Glorify

April 16th proved to be a very interesting day in the life of college students everywhere. For those of you who may not understand what I'm referring to (or have been without news or TV for more than a week), I'm speaking to the massacre that took place at Virginia Tech. As a quick reminder, 33 students were slain at the hands of one Korean student, Seung-Hui Cho. According to forensics and other police reports, Cho went berserk and unleashed over 170 rounds upon students before putting himself out of his own misery.

Granted that this is simply a rough outline of what occurred, it's not really what I came to say. My concern is more towards the role the media has played in covering this event. Is it just me, or does it appear to be displayed as more of a viewing spectacle than a tragic event? Now I, like most others, like to know what's going on and where, but to parade this around for more than a week and have every news station, news net, paper, etc. showing this over and over and over and over can be a bit much. Let me clarify; it's not so much that they were giving updates, but the constant repeating statements about the number killed, how, who-dunit, etc. to me was uncalled for - especially when they began showing the photos from the video that Cho sent to the TV Station. Personally, they could have just showed Cho's school portrait and let it go at that. Instead, they showed all that he sent: photos of him holding his gun at the camera, poses of him with both guns drawn, etc. The video that he made was played over and over again and available to any and all who cared to look. Should we be concerned that a message is being sent out to future delinquents who think the world is out to get them and this is the way to deal? Why give so much attention to the villain...what about those that were affected, both directly and indirectly? Yes, I know this coverage came (eventually), but glorifying (in a manner of speaking) someone for such a heinous crime tends to be giving more credit than I think the media knows.

But I guess they just want the rating...